Kool-Aid arrested, breaks wall

The Kool-Aid Man, known to friends and relatives as Mr. Kool, or just "Kool" to the kids, was arrested today after bursting through a wall into the change rooms at the Halifax Shopping Centre's La Senza.
"Oh yeah," said Kool, pumping his fists in the air, as he poured his fruity blood out over the store's floor.
"He had his little juice box hanging out and he started swinging it around," said one scared over the shoulder, boulder holder shopper.
"It was disgusting."
When police arrived they were offered several different varieties of fruit punch, ranging from Berry Blast to Hawaiian Punch.
After they came down off their sugary buzz, local officers arrested the oversized fish bowl for damage of property and lewd behaviour in a public place.
"Oh yeah," reiterated the accused pervert.
"Oh no," responded Staff Sergeant Eugene Meese.
According to police, Kool claims to have done nothing wrong, but one officer, who refused to go on record, noted "the guy is pretty transparent."
Loud wails could be heard from Kool's jail cell later in the afternoon. Police would not confirm what the noise was, but many felt it was the sound of a washed up 80s promotional icon being beaten with a toaster.